Often clients find their way into my office after a painful event when some aspects of their sexual behavior were discovered by others, causing a rupture. Whether it was their partner, employer, or someone else, the consequences of the discovery bring forth a world of hurt. 

My clients share feeling torn and burdened by an immense inner conflict around their sexual preferences and actions. They feel distressed and ashamed about their sexual behaviors – aware of the “wrongness” or the costly consequences and yet, unable to control their actions. They judge themselves harsher than anyone could, while seeing no way of reconciling their urges with their life values. They feel alone and hopeless.

This sense of conflict and isolation makes sense. The truth is, we are brought up in a society where sexual health is rarely discussed outside of the potential dangers of sexual activity. The sex talk most of us get boils down to a “Don’t get an STD or get knocked up” sentiment. When we walk into adulthood, there is hardly a safe and affirming space for us to bring forth the challenges of living in the world as an authentic sexual being while being a person they want to be ethically. So, is it any surprise that often we don’t make space for considerations around our Sexual Health until we find ourselves in a crisis? 

The Sexual Health approach to addressing problematic sexual behavior opens a space for exploration of sexual authenticity, while addressing the areas of struggle where change is needed. Here feeling sexually out of control is not seen as a lifelong affliction, but rather as something to be understood and transformed.

We don’t exclude sexual pleasure from the discussion when we look at problematic sexual behavior through the lens of Sexual Health. Instead, we hold both - the consequences of the behavior and choices, and the human desire and right to pursue pleasure. 

In the OCSB treatment approach we:

• Help you identify your vision of Sexual Health that is in alignment with your relationship agreements and personal values.
• Assist in aligning your vision of Sexual Health with the Principles of Sexual Health.
• Find ways to eliminate the behaviors that are not congruent with your values.
• Support you in learning how to make agreements with yourself and others, and keep them.

The goal of this work is helping clients achieve their optimal sexual health; a state of wellbeing, where they feel good about sex they are having - before, during and after. 

Accountability and honesty are two essential components of this treatment modality. 

If the Sexual Health approach interests you, please reach out. As an OCSB treatment specialist, I am prepared to help you address your sexual health concerns.

About Nika, MSW, LICSW

Nika Gannon, LICSW is a sex and intimacy therapist, specializing in treatment of Problematic Sexual Behavior and attachment focused therapy. She works with individuals and couples in Washington state.